Dr IVF...

Had an appointment with Dr Ivf today. I have not seen him since before our last cycle when we lost Sienna.. I was ok...no tears, well maybe a few welled up at first but then i was fine.

He is such a great doctor and really makes me feel like I'm not dumb when i ask questions.

So i told him next cycle i would really like more eggs than 7.. so he has upped my dose a little which was good, not as high as he could have went but he thinks it will be too much for me if we did. I know 7 was a good number last time considering i was in with 2 ladies- one got 4 and the other got 2.. i think it was just on the introduction dvd the lady gets 11, so i think that gave me a little false hope. He also agreed that if none of the embryos make it we can use the back up ones we have in the freezer.

So it looks like all is set for July..fingers crossed. as long as both clinics can be on standby for the second and third week when Mr J is home.

For the 20 minutes i was in there, the $85 it costs me and the 45 minute drive there and back it was a good appointment overall.. i walked out happy that again we have a plan in place.

Blogger award...Goes to me. yay

Yay, My first award THANK YOU Rachel @ a lasting footprint for giving me this. I'm really new to this blogging world so its great

Okay so the rules are :

1. Link back to the person who gave you the award
2. Tell 7 things about yourself
3. Award other bloggers - The Stylish Blogger Award is to be awarded to 10 - 15 people.
4. Notify winners


Okay let's see 7 things about me

1. I love the beauty of nature, a stunning flower or pretty clouds, a pink sunset or a white sandy beach all make me feel nice and fuzzy inside. :o)
2. I'm not very crafty but love the idea of new crafty projects... i own a sewing machine that i have used like twice..
3. I'm a bit of a clean freak..everything has its place and i like everything neat...until you look in the junk draw.
4. I'm a very emotional person..haha (always have been.) i cry very easily.
5. We are off to Fiji in less than a week, for a family holiday with the in laws...super excited.
6. Skype is one of the best inventions ever, i spend at least an hour every night talking on it to Mr J.
7. One of my Favourite colours is Orange.. It reminds me of my little loves.

So to all those i am giving this award to thank you for your wonderful blogs.. i have been reading blogs for sometime now before i started writting my own and i have loved every minute.

So the award goes to:

The pursuit of Pregnancy.

Urth mama

My Angel baby.....

for the love of baby liam

We have angel wings

the princess and the pee stick

Adventures of endo in the arctic

babies, balanced translocation and being in my 30's

Booferd

Dear Stevie.

There are so many other blogs that have been a wonderful read, so if your not here doesn't mean i don't love reading what you have to say..
Happy Easter to all. xx

HAPPY EASTER.....

What a wonderful bitter sweet day, I do like Easter but as every other event of the year it makes me miss my  loved ones.
We woke up pretty early and Miss O came in and gave me my little gift that she had brought me. it was a beautiful butterfly charm with the word "DREAM" hanging from it.. was just perfect and was placed among a few chocolate eggs and a new little Easter coffee mug..AWESOME for my Easter morning coffee... so feeling spoilt by my 6 year old we got up to see what the Easter bunny had left.. he had left a long trail of eggs to a note which then told her to find the eggs hidden around the house.. she loved it and was very spoilt.
It is truly wonderful to spend moments like that with my daughter but also makes me a tiny bit sad as she should have a 17 month old brother running around with her grabbing and wanting to eat eggs and the house filled with giggles...and i should be pregnant...  And Mr J should be home and not far away at work.....hhhhmmmmm
but as this isn't so,
we casually pottered around until we got dressed and head down to the cemetery... to visit the what i imagine as my cheeky blonde hair, blue eyed boy... we sat at his graveside and give him the little Easter trinkets we had brought and tell him how much we miss him and love him...
Driving away from the cemetery Miss O tells me she likes going to there... i tell her me too but i wish we didn't have to... sometime it feels so much like a dream...
We carry on and end up having a great day in the beautiful sunshine, followed by a yummy roast (that i cooked...well done me!)

I want to wish everyone a happy Easter and hope that your Easter isn't too hard without the love ones you are missing.
Much love. xx

Small Miracles

Every month on the 19th Franchesca at Small Bird Studios wants to celebrate hope. The promises, things, people, places, memories, signs, anything that brings us hope. She hopes this blog hop brings your day some sunshine, and some hope for tomorrow.

xo

What brings me hope? 

Today i have decided that new babies bring me hope. Two of my gorgeous friends have just had babies and they are perfect.

I feel a little bit of envy i will admit and i cant wait for the day to hold my own baby. Being a babylost mum is also very hard when there is nothing but baby talk going on and everyone is admiring this tiny new life.

But in the same moment i feel hope.. Hope for the future that i will bring home a healthy baby, i will get to be a mother again and feel that joy once more.

It also shows me that there are still beautiful things happening in the world all around us and how lucky we are to get to take part in it all.

One of my friends had her baby 5 weeks early and she was a tiny 5 pounds. she went on oxygen for about half an hour and went home in less than a week and is thriving.

To me that is a little miracle right there. What a joy she is to be around.

What's in a Name?

Naming my little blog "Love that moves the stars" was an easy choice.  It pretty much somes up the way i feel about my children.. I really feel that my love for them could move the stars, the mountains, the water...  the earth its self.. or even....well lets just say if love could move things the whole universe would have moved several times. However i cant take all the credit for the quote, i was actually struggling to find a quote for my memorial necklace..(which i will share in another post soon) i came up with all these things like " a mothers love does not forget" and "foot prints on a mothers heart" but they just didn't seem fitting this time.. i wanted it to be right and i knew once i found it it would be the one... but i could find anything and thought i may have to settle for one.
In the mean time i went away for work and found this awesome book for $2....seriously a whole $2.. at a bargin, cheap outlet book shop.
Its called "Motherlove 2" - edited by Debra Adelaide ( which is very fitting since i brought it in Adelaide)

I had a really long wait at the airport and started to read this book, i couldn't put it down.. its a collection of stories from mothers about motherhood.
So i get to the first story called Love that moves the sun.... i read the story and in it the lady had received a card from her friend who had written a quote from Dante Alighieri " Love that moves the sun and other stars"

At that moment i knew that it was exactly how i felt, especially holding my son knowing he was never coming home with us.. That powerful love that hits you.
Haydens birth flower also means star so i chose to break it down to "Love that moves that stars"

So my pendant got made and my blog got a very fitting name...

much love....xxx

Happy list Saturday/ Sunday

Yay, my first blog hop... Thanks to My Angel Baby. . . . Aiden William

So it's 4 things i am Happy for this week.

• My Mr J... sending me Flowers to work knowing i was feeling a little down this week, and they were beautiful. They were just what i needed to make me smile although he wasnt very sneaky and i knew he was up to something.. I do love fresh flowers in the house from time to time..

• Great Friends, i had coffee with two of my best friends on friday night and caught up with two of my other best friends on saturday, after my friend S had her little boy in the early hours.. So cute. I went to the hospital to meet Little H with my friend B who has just had a ltille baby girl. who was 5 weeks early and little H was already bigger than her. Tiny babies make me very happy..but very clucky and very impatient for my own.

• New ideas, i have been feeling very creative this week, which is very unusual for me... so stay tuned and we will see where that all leads.. :) I have started to make my memory board thank to amy at Treasure tags but im not sure it is ready for sharing..  but it makes me happy to think about it all.

• For sundays, love the no rush, potter around the house, staying your pj's til you want kinda of day.. work up this morning very tired but happy it was sunday.. and it is ten o'clock and im still in my pj's. But now im wondering where the fine line of relaxing on a sunday and being lazy on a sunday are... oh well ill just enjoy it..

Some things about me!!

So thought i would write a few facts about me..what ever came to my head first i wrote.

A- Asparagus... I have found a new love for this little thing.. yumm

B- Babes... I have a gorgeous daughter here on earth and two babies in heaven. My little man Hayden and tiny baby girl Sienna. I have also had a very early misscarriage, but never knew what we were having.

C- Cooking... I am not a cooking wiz, i cook to eat every night but am not in the habit of making master pieces.. when Mr J is home from work..he cooks for me every night... Love this

D- Depressed... My man working away( gone 8 weeks at a time) and thinking about how long it will be till i get a healthy baby in our arms.. these make me feel a little depressed..

E- Exercising... not a big fan.. but go to a girls boxing class now and then.

F- Fish... the only pets we have are fish.

G- Gardening... nope, we can only seem to keep a cactus alive, def not a green thumb.

H- Hayden... Again! but he is always on my mind.

I- Infertile... I would say reproductively challanged..

J- James and Jade... my babes middle names

k- Kids... would love two more.

L- Love... MR J is The LOVE of my life, such a caring, hard working and sometimes even romantic man. He is my rock, i think i need more than he would ever imagine..

M- Miss M... my daughters half sister.. such a cutie at only 4 months old.

N- Nickname... Jo is my nickname.. i much prefer Jo.

O- Miss O... my Gorgeous 6 year old. she is fun and smart and such a fashion queen already. she is also so sweet.

P- MR P.. my only sibiling... 4 years older than me.

Q- Queen... In my house i am the Queen, Mr J is the King and Miss O is the princess..(we according to her anyways)

R- Rushing... im normally always rushing out the door...either on time or late.

S- Sienna... wish you were here..

T- Teller... I work as a bank teller. and work with some amazing girls.

U- Umbrellas are not allowed to be opened in the house. silly superstition.

V- Vegies or fruit... def vegetables

W- Winter or Summer.. I hate the cold. I much prefer the warm weather.

X- X or Y chromosome.. either as long as it was healthy.

Y- Young or old... im 27.

Z- Zoo animal... I would have to pick Monkeys.

Welcome!!! 1st Post..

Just wanted to say Welcome to "love that moves the stars".
A blog about my everyday life, life as a babylost mum and our journey to have another baby. I hope you will enjoy reading and finding out thing about me. This blog is more a place for me to share thoughts, but if you find yourself understanding, nodding and even smiling from time to time then im happy my words can help.

Much love.